Bedtime Stories

I realise that CO2 emissions are a pretty big problem when it comes to climate change. This is the new "Act On CO2" advert designed to sensitively nudge us into changing our energy habits. I like the way they've used the  bedtime story theme to target middle age sympathies. I even like the way that this child isn't allowed to watch television at night to cut down on emissions. However, I still think this advert is lacking something that will galvanise a change in ethics of the general middle aged demographic.

(1) It's too clever - it appeared in the middle of Coronation St. when people are more concerned with what's happening in the Rovers in about 3 and half minutes, rather than 10 years from now.
(2) It's equates climate change to a detached fairy tale through the narrative providing no facts and no realistic hypothesis.

(3) And finally it's just lacking that shock factor - perhaps the child would have been better off reading that book to her guilt ridden father and then dying in a drought.

Just a thought.

And who elected Bono Supreme Leader?

"Behold your overlord!" cries Bono, as Conservatives looks on bewildered.

Politics took a turn for the worse today when celebrity endorsement reared its ugly head. The Conservative Party Conference was interrupted by the intrusion of the omnipresent and omni-benevolent Bono who arrived bellowing a decree from the Gods.

He spoke of a post-Labour, Conservative party upholding Labour's promises to alleviate world poverty by keeping international aid spending at a target of 0.7% GDP per annum. The Tories lapped up Bono the Benevolent's every word, but secretly scoffed, 'Why would we give to the third world when our own children are due our hard earned cash to the tune of a £2 million inheritance.'

The raising of the inheritance tax threshold to £2million is just one of a number of new policies cited by the Conservatives with the intention of fixing Broken Britain. Of course, despite their best intentions to persuade Britain's richest working class, single mum's to stay with their partners, their policy only benefits rich, married couples, where coaxing people into staying together with financial incentives isn't really an issue of epidemic proportions at all. And as the rich benefit from tax-breaks, the funding of Bono's make poverty history campaign, if to be met, must be gained from substantial cuts in other needy services if the Conservatives are to meet their deficit crunching promise. What Bono make of all this?

William Hague introduced Bono as someone "you don't normally hear from at Conservative conferences". By this I presume he means someone with a sympathy toward social justice.

Unfortunately the limitations of this joke are all to assured. It seems that social justice only interests justice supremo Bono on a worldly level. Bono himself has undoubtedly been linked to tax evasion hypocrisy in the past, depriving his native state the ability to redistribute from the rich to the poor. And with that in mind it's no doubt that Bono shares something in common with the Conservatives - Compassionate Capitalism.

Day 6 of Unemployment - Updates

Things are moving on in the world.

Update 1: Refused jobseekers allowance.
Update 2: Received confirmation from Guinness World Records that they will be getting back in touch with me in the next 4 weeks. And that is binding.
Update 3: Applied for M&S job.
Update 4: Nazi-Cats

With all that new information to bear in mind I'll not lampoon you with too much else today.

JD

Day 3 of Unemployment - Soap Addication

Since having a lot of spare time on my hands recently, I've been watching a lot more BBC iplayer. Conveniently enough BBC screened a special episode of Eastenders on Thursday 1st October featuring London Major Boris Johnson in a typical Old Vic setting. You can watch the full episode here if you like, but I wouldn't bother; it's a pretty awful intrusion of reality into a soap and the highlights have already been carefully captured in this short youtube clip:

Now there's a few things about this scene that bother me. Firstly, I agree with Peggy that it is a bit of a coincidence or, as she puts it, "lucky that Boris' bike got a puncture isn't it?" And that's the problem! I mean really, come on! Could the producers not have thought up any more of an ingenious reason for Boris to enter the pub then that? This sloppy, bipartisan publicity attempt between the Beeb and Johnson looks as awkward as a duck on ice.

As long as they want to blend the realities of life and fiction together we might as well question Peggy a little more about this incident. Yeah right Peggy, I'm sure you had nothing to do with it, and that devilish glean in your eye is nothing more than enchantment with London's most dashing man. "Lucky for me" he gained a puncture my arse, you evil and despicable fiend!

A more important issue with this "celebrity" appearance, given the MP's party bias, is that the BBC has avidly given the conservative party a national platform before their Manchester Conference and the spring General Election. Admittedly, the role Boris played kept political bias to a minimum, yet still, isn't this just as bad as product placement advertising?

A lot of people know that Johnson is affiliated with the Conservative party and a gracious portrayal of a "Compassionate" Conservative on screen fulfils the Cameron & Co. PR bandwagon dream. Just like watching the judges of American idol drink Coke makes me thirsty for carbonated drinks, seeing Johnson really makes me believe that the Conservatives care for deprived areas like Walthamstow in the East End, where the place Walford (or Wartford as it sounds when channelled through the Major phonetics) is based on. Notably, in the last general election Walthamstow elected a Labour MP, not a Conservative one.

I am not implying that this portrayal is going to directly effect the results of the next general election. What I am arguing is that cameo roles in mass marketed soaps can affect public opinion.

And why is Mr. Johnson drinking a pint when he plans on cycling home?

Day 2 of Unemployment - "Is M&S right for me?"

Graduate employment marketing is a pretty strange affair. People want to convince you to work for them and that they're providing the best offer in the market. Glancing through some retail management schemes at various high street department stores, the M&S Trainee Management scheme provides the best example of cunning marketing yet. It's essentially designed to make the prospect of working for them as irresistible as their food.

What seems so indulging about this graduate scheme is that uses already established brand advertising to promote itself; an advertising campaign most closely related with the sale of melt in the middle chocolate deserts in the past. If salivation over Belgian puds doesn't satisfy your desire enough to seriously consider M&S as the right choice for you then don't worry. M&S also provide their own psychometric test to establish whether you have what it takes for the job.

When branded as a "This is not just any", unique product this quiz sounds like the biz when in reality it's far from that. If you think that M&S are going to offer you ancient secrets to focus your inner zen as I had hoped from this introduction then you're going to be disappointed.

You can take the M&S quiz online if you really want to. You might even discover that M&S is the right career for you in the process. But don't hold your breath for anything extraordinary because this quiz is just as generic as the carefully marketed products they sell.